SANTA CLAUS QUOTES II

quotations about Santa Claus

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Santa ... is a man with a harsh and stringent code. Santa makes lists of children throughout the world and, oh no, he puts them in categories according to their behavior. His ledger has two columns: one for the good and the other for the bad (the "naughty" and "nice"). He gives toys and candy to the well-behaved children, but he doesn't forget the bad kids, no, he puts lumps of coal in their Christmas stockings. He believes in accountability, but is generous of heart and of a forgiving nature. Last year can be forgotten if you were good this year.... Santa likely wouldn't go in for participation awards and scoreless soccer games for the kids. No, he believes in real outcomes, even in rewards and punishments. So dare we say it: Santa is a conservative.

FRANK MINITER

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Just think about it: Santa Claus is an imaginary figure who lives in the North Pole with no visible means of support. He is a 300 pound man who is supposed to be able to descend through a narrow chimney flue with a sack of toys on his back as a reward to good boys and girls. Someone has noted that Santa Claus flies in a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer led by Rudolph with his nasal nightlight. At least Santa has fairly nonpolluting transportation.

WILLIAM H. GODDARD

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Santa only comes to those who believe. He doesn't care if you believe in him or not, and he's not trying to make anyone believe who doesn't believe. If you don't believe, he just skips your house.

JENN-ANNE

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Parents, make sure the kids aren't reading over your shoulder because it looks like we're about to have a blue Christmas: Santa Claus is dead. Archeologists said Wednesday that they might have discovered the ancient tomb belonging to the original Santa Claus, otherwise known as St. Nick, beneath a church in southern Turkey, according to The Washington Post.

HERB SCRIBNER

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So Santa Claus is bogus but Grim Reapers are the genuine article. What does that say about the world?

MINDEE ARNETT

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Of course Santa is dead, you force a guy to eat a billion cookies in one night, what do you think is going to happen?

JIMMY KIMMEL

Tags: Jimmy Kimmel

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We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.

ANDY ROONEY

Tags: Andy Rooney

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Santa Claus is more than a mythical figure, living in the North Pole with reindeer and happy industrious elves. The commercialization of Christmas, exacerbated by things like the obnoxious Elf on the Shelf and hissy fits over the colors and patterns of Starbucks cups, are symptoms of a culture missing the meaning and purpose of the season. The real Santa is completely in line with celebrating an authentic Christian Christmas. Modern pop culture has turned Santa into a figure almost completely removed from his origins, and it's time to go back to the beginning and remember the real Saint Nick.

HOLLY SCHEER

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I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
She didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peek
She thought that I was tucked up
In my bedroom fast asleep

Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night

TOMMIE CONNOR

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No doubt about it, Santa is old fashioned. He is also an individualist. He goes his own way. He doesn't obey airport tower controllers or customs officials.

FRANK MINITER

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God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is 'sposed to be a happy time.

BIL KEANE

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Ho, ho, ho
Santa's comin' back, around
So get ready
Christmastime is my favorite part of the year
'Cause ah, there's a lot of love in the air
And holiday cheer

TODDIEFUNK

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Under a welfare state there is always the danger that adults as well as children will believe in Santa Claus.

EVAN ESAR

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Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

VICTOR BORGE

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Christmas is always a problem to the man who has to convince his kids that there is a Santa Claus, and his wife that there isn't.

EVAN ESAR

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Get ready for a theory that will blow your mind. Ready? Okay. The whole "Santa coming down the chimney" thing is clearly just a muggle conspiracy to cover up the fact that Santa is a wizard traveling by floo powder.

DESIREE O

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I think Santa Claus is, by and large, quite beneficial, for when the child is finally allowed -- or forced -- to recognize the nonexistence of Santa Claus, then the child is able to go through the vital intellectual process of reconstructing reality in light of new evidence, complete with back-forming new stories to account for past events. This prepares the child for many other disillusionments and gives her vital and well-supported experience in maintaining her grip on reality independent of the stories told to her at any given time.

ORSON SCOTT CARD

Tags: Orson Scott Card

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The whole concept of some stranger making his way down our chimney -- not that we had one -- suggested burglary more readily than generosity. Any Santa who tried it would have gotten a bullet in his holly, jolly keister.

THOMM QUACKENBUSH

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She felt that it was not the responsibility of the educational system to make sure that by the age of twelve, a student has a clear enough understanding of reality to be able to figure out that Santa Claus is a myth.

BRUCE GAUTHIER

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The myth of Santa has grown to gigantic proportions. He is able to know all, to judge each and every child, to make reindeer fly and do all these things at the North Pole! Obviously Santa has slowly taken the place of God, doing things which only God can do. Unfortunately, this "god" is a legalistic "god," dispensing gifts only upon those who deserve them.

JOHN L. HOH, JR.

Tags: John L. Hoh, Jr.

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